F'ing hilarious

Thanks to Hazen for passing this one along. I'm going to see if I can teach one of the little begger kids here to dance like this.

Worst online survey ever...RED HERRING

I received an email earlier this week from Red Herring. One of those massive mailings from the "Co-Chief Operating Officer," Daniel Essindi. It was announcing a new forum that Red Herring is launching called, "INNOVATION." How original.

Quoted from the email...

"Red Herring is launching "INNOVATION" an exclusive forum where the innovators covered in Red Herring magazine will meet to share ideas and to echange notes face to face."
[notice the spelling error "echange"]

I thought, OK... I'll check out the survey. Maybe they will provide some more info. on what this thing is all about. Ask me questions about what I'd want to get out of such a forum, who I would most like to participate in the forum, ask me what type of opportunities or partnerships I may want to make. Wrong. Here's what they asked...

"Would you spend more than $7,000 to participate in this gathering?"

Hell no. For an event where executives will talk about "Innovation" & likely not share anything useful. What's the point of the forum, please Red Herring, share that information before you ask someone if they would spend MORE than $7,000 to attend.

They don't even have anything about this on their homepage or in the "Events" section of their website. I understand this thing may not be baked yet, but at least have some idea of what the goals of this forum would be.

Check out the survey yourself if you'd like...

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?A=148971658E19193

Irish comedy

Great quote...something to live by

My brother sent me this quote last month, as I was beginning my journey to China. It's a quote from the Marines, so I'm sure they all learn it & many likely try to live by it (they must, if they get shipped out).

It's something I am definetly living by over here in China.

"Unhappiness does not arise from the way things are but rather from a difference in the way things are and the way we believe they should be. Comfort is an illusion. A false security bred from familiar things and familiar ways. It narrows the mind. Weakens the body. And robs the soul of spirit and determination..."
(last line is "Comfort is neither welcome nor tolerated here.")

I've never been one to get home sick...not that I don't miss home (my family, friends and the things I'm "comfortable" with), but when you're out of that comfort zone, you can't just sit back, hide and think about how you wish things were...you have to deal with it, take advantage of it & learn.

Want some Panda?

"Man bites panda in Beijing zoo as retribution"

HILARIOUS...wish I could have seen that.

Robots in China

Thanks to Jim for passing this blog entry on the "Chinese Beauty Robot" over to me.

Does China really need robots to dance, bow & greet people? In place with 1.4 billion people, I think not. Although, robots are cool (I had a cool when when I was a kid, but my brother and sister broke it). So, if nothing else than to make an impression and show that China can be "high-tech", then OK.

But back to my question...in a country where you can find a person for any job and typically, people only do one specific job, why are robots needed? When you can walk down the street and see 50 guys planting 25 plants...when you can look at a construction site and see one guy with a screw driver, one with a hammer and one with the wrench (not one person with all 3 tools)...why robots?

I'm just wondering if China plans to increase its already massive population with robots walking around the cities. But hey, maybe they can give the massages in the WCs, that would be a little less creepy, but still creepy.

Traffic from Iraq?

It's not visible in google analytics. My brother, a US Marine in Iraq, visits my blog periodically. I know, because he references topics in emails to me. However, the little orange dot does not appear in google analytic's "Geo Map Overlay."

I'm assuming then, that the military bases in Iraq (and likely elsewhere around the world) don't use in-country IT infrastructure. That's likely not possible in Iraq anyway, since if it even exists these days, it's likely pretty crappy. But, if the military uses some US IT infrastructure (satellites likely), wouldn't traffic still show up? I guess not, since it's not. Maybe they don't want website and/or blog owners around the world to know that there are US military forces in Baghdad.

DVD? ... No. ... Sex DVD? ... No.

I took a walk late this afternoon over to the big electronics shopping center near my apartment. I knew I'd get heckled here & there, but didn't think it would get as bad as it did. On a typical day of walking around the Chaoyang area, you'll get asked if you want "DVD" at least once or twice. Well, today, in the 2 block area I was walking, I was asked 29 times if I wanted to buy DVDs. Granted, some of these geniuses asked me twice (once on the way into the building & once on the way out)...a good salesmen never gives up, right?

I even had some women holding their little babies asking me..."you want DVD?" (the kids, with their "ass pants" on ... ass pants are basically pants or shorts with the seat cut open...the only explanation I can provide here is that it saves on diaper costs, but likely not good for the environment).

Usually (as the Chinese pronounce... u-u-lee) they give up after one wave of the hand, shake of the head or a simple "bu" (no). Tonight, 80% of them tried a second time. "DVD?" was quickly followed by "Sex DVD!?" ... yeah, like I want to buy your cheap porn.

So, after all of the excitement, I figured I'd contribute to one of the rickshaw guys. He didn't know what he was getting himself into when he decided he'd peddle me along for a couple of blocks...


I took it easy last night, but it's on to a party at Suzie Wong's tonight...should be interesting.

Squatters!

I have yet to attempt "squatting" and I will try my best to never have to. I can't see how guys do it. How they don't walk out with stuff all over their pants is beyond me. Plus, I am a bit of a freak about my clothes being wrinkled, so I'd hate the fact that I'd need to go iron my pants when done. I guess since the people here grew up having to always use them, it's natural...kind of like riding a bike, only messy.

Today though, there was a guy who I think is among the elite of squatters. He was "on the squatter" talking on his cell phone! Now, how the hell you do that when you're "on the squatter", is beyond me.

Here's a squatter...

As you can see, there are no "handicap" rails in there...so, you better have some
strong legs, and be able to squat for as long as it takes...





So, a bit of a disgusting post, but there you go.

How does communication work in China?

I'm having a hard time figuring this one out. What I've experienced thus far is that
usually, when you ask for something, after a few times, you get it, after a while. There is not typically any communication between the time the person actually agrees to do something and when you get the result (basically, they don't tell you that they agree that they'll get or do it). This isn't always the case, but I'm finding it to be the majority of the time.

How am I addressing this? I'm trying to balance it. I don't want to be a complete
pain in the ass and constantly ask for things and for updates, etc... But, sometimes
I have to be, otherwise it just doesn't happen. Sometimes, if it's not something
really important (like ordering a refrigerator for the office), I just let it slide. Asked once, it was acknowledged, 2 weeks and counting, no fridge. I'm going to wait this one out though. I'm also going to try a few other experiments like this. I need to see what it takes to get things done, and more important, provide some sort of motivation for things to get done...quicker.

Could all of this just be due to the fact that I'm a foreigner who can't properly
communicate here because I don't know the language? Or maybe because I have not accomplished enough guanxi yet? I'm not sure. People are always on their cell phones..talking, text messaging. Outside of work, text messaging is one of the favorites pastimes here, especially with the girls you meet. So, I don't think there is a lack of communication overall...but seems to be in the workplace.

More digging needed on this one...

Bikes everywhere!

I'm not sure how many bikes there are in china, but I bet there are more than cars. Most are very old, beat up bikes. As long as it works, people don't seem to care. Plus, if you're peddling around on a new bike, it is likely to be someone else's bike soon enough. Tons of bike repair guys line the streets...fixing/replacing tires, greasing chains, selling locks.

It's estimated that there will be 3 million cars on the roads, sidewalks, grassy areas (they driver anywhere) of Beijing by 2008. I also read today that Beijing is going to prohibit all personal vehicles from being on the roads of Beijing during the 2008 Olympics. However, those people who do own vehicles will have free access to public transportation during that time. This is a good move by Beijing officials. Traffic here is already a mess, hopefully they will see an improvement with this move during the games.

Came across this article on nytimes.com....in the Netherlands, most people ride bikes. Only, they likely aren't covered in dirt or bruised from car bumpers like the people of China. They also pay big money for bikes there, that will likely never happen in China.

Friday in Beijing, take a look

Here are some pictures of Friday evening in Beijing...

"Getting ready to peddle my ass off"

"Just a little cat nap before I go party it up"

"I'm sleeping too, but you can only see my toes"

"Bicycle races!!"

"What a mess...don't worry, the guy in the blue hat will fix it!"

"No fruit for you!"

OK, I'll let you see

So, some people have been asking for a picture of the "girlfriend." She's not really my girlfriend, but I have been spending a lot of time with her in the evenings...we'll see how it goes!

BTW...I am not drunk and I do not photograph well and the painting in the background is classy, huh?

Back rubs in the WC...enough already!

First... WC = Water Closet. If you come to China, you should know that (I didn't my first time), but that's what they call the bathroom here.

Anyway, in my first month of living here, there are a few things that I'm not very fond of. Yeah, there are the typical ones like traffic, spitting everywhere, taxi drivers, etc... but I won't complain about those, because actually, it's just as bad as any major city in any country around the world.

Some irritating things:

• BACK RUBS/PATTING in the bathrooms. This doesn't happen everywhere, but you will find it at some of the bars in Beijing. A lot of places have bathroom attendants...use a comb, take some mints, hand you a towel. But here, while you're standing at the urinal letting it flow, they sneak up behind you and start giving you a back rub. Come on, is that really necessary & how many people actually like that? Not to mention, when you start punching my back, it hurts my aim, so you might get some on your shoes (they don't care). So bathroom attendants...no more back rubs at the stalls. Relax, I'll give you 10RMB, just give me a clean towel to dry my hands.

• Ordering food. Why does it take so long for people to order food here and why do the waiters & waitresses stand over you as soon as you sit down to wait for your order. Give me some time, then I'll order and it will only take a minute, rather than the 10 minutes it usually takes people here to order food.

• Cell phones in meetings. I hate this. Everyone carries their cell phones with them around offices...and a lot of companies have "cell phones" as their office phones. In any given meeting, with any given company, there are at least 10 phone calls during the meeting. Many times, people answer the calls & some times even walk out to take the call right during a discussion. This is far worse than doing email or chatting on IM during a meeting. Cell phones off!
  

Dinner with "the team"

Last night, I hosted a dinner for my new team. Not my entire team, you know, since I'm having a few problems with the recruiting these days. I also had a colleague from Tokyo & guy from the HR team there who has been providing me with a ton of help, great guy.

So, we headed over to a restaurant near the office... English name "Hot Fish." As usual, a bunch of weird stuff on the menu, but thankfully no one ordered anything too weird (like duck stomachs or duck tongues...yes, they were on the menu).

On the way to dinner, it was determined by the HR guy that we would have some Chinese Wine. This is not wine, it's a liquor and some types can likely be used as jet fuel. I've had some here & there before, but not to the extent of last night's dinner.

There was a choice given to me between 38% & 52% (76 proof & 104 proof respectively). I opted for the 38%, but I was quickly correct by the HR guy ... "52% much better!" OK, I'll trust him.

Only 4 of us were going to drink the wine...we also had beer. When the clear liquid was sitting in front of me, just about filled to the top of a standard sized wine glass, I got a little scared. Jokingly, I quickly raised my glass and said "ganbei!" ... thought I would use it to break the ice a bit. Because no one, including me, was about to drink their first glass to the bottom. I then attempted a simple "toast" in Chinese... "I welcome you to our company" ... I butchered it, but they more or less understood what I was trying to say. Throughout dinner, there were many "cheers" and simple sayings and thanks in English. It was all very nice.

After the first glass of the "wine," we started to get a little courageous. It was time for the "ganbeis" to begin. I started off the first one, it was hilarious. I had strategically been sipping on mine as the others had barely touched theirs...bottoms up!

After 1 & 1/2 bottles and about 10 liters of beer, it was time to call it a night. The HR guy was smashed, I was on my way and as we walked out of the room, I saw a few guys stumbling around... Thursday night must be wine night.

Yahoo, Google & Software in China

So, Yahoo! & Google are experiencing new growth in China and I can even find people to fill my team...and this is not a small company in China!

Yahoo! has managed to double their size in China over the past year. But, it wasn't really Yahoo who did it (although, the brand name likely helped), it was China-based Alibaba, who took over management of Yahoo! China, who has spurred the growth. You can see the story here.

As for Google, they recently opened a brand new complex in Beijing. If that's not a sign of significant growth, I don't know what is (OK, they do have googles of money, so that helps).

When I was in Beijing back in July, I was out to lunch with William, the guy who was helping me find my apartment. We happened to be sitting next to a table full of Yahoo! employees (I could tell from their badges :-)). So, I asked William to talk to them for me (since I knew 3 words in Chinese at the time) and to give them my card. I was thinking, maybe I could lure them away from Yahoo!. But with what, my business card that was only in English?! Needless to say, no one ever contacted me.

The recruiting efforts are proving to be difficult. More on that in a later post coming soon.

Last, I came across this Business Week article: "China: The Next Software Center?" I've got a lot to write about in this regard...between Google, Yahoo, software jobs & my experience thus far. Stay tuned.

Driverless cars in China???

I would prefer not to be around when these things hit the roads of Beijing.

I hope they will be able to react to all of the other cars on the road (and bikes and people) not following any of the traffic laws, such as...lanes, lights, tailgating, etc....

Prep'ing for the Beijing Marathon...

OK...not the whole thing, less than 1/4 of it actually...10K to be exact. Even that will be hard for me. Could you imagine me trying to run 26.2 miles, in one day? It would probably take me an entire day. Maybe some day I'll get to marathon status, for now... 6 miles will be my max, and I'm not even there yet.

So, I started the running/lifting back up around September 1, when I finally received my club membership at my apartment complex. Running outside here on a regular basis is really not something I want to get into yet, for many reasons! I've been getting in 3-4 days per week, typically only 3 miles, but have done 4 a couple times. My pace...it's at 10 minute miles... not horrible, but certainly not impressive.

I was talking to my buddy Francis, from Buffalo, this morning. He's an experienced runner. Ran cross-country through high school and still runs today. His advice for me (to get to 6 miles for the race) was the following:

• 2 weeks prior to the race ... run 5 miles at pace
• 1 week prior to the race ... run 5 miles at pace
• In between those runs & leading up the the 10K run, continue at 3-4 miles - 3 days /week
• As for the 6th mile, he says I'll just push it out on race day

We shall see, I hope this works. I trust it will, as long as I continue on with my routine.

Remembering from China

I'm sure the blogs are buzzing with recounts and stories and thoughts from and about 9/11. Being on the other side of the world remembering it is a bit awkward. I don't see all of the coverage on TV, or my friends or colleagues talking about. Surprisingly, no one here (Chinese, American or other) has even mentioned it yet today.

I've read many articles the last few days asking where the old America is ... the America that came together in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months after 9/11. No one should expect that to last forever. People move on, but they don't forget.

So, I'll recount my story...

I was in Buffalo, NY for the weekend, flew home on September 7. We were celebrating the 21st birthdays of a couple friends of mine. So, needless to say, it was going to be "one of those weekends." We had an awesome weekend, beer was involved and so was trouble (too be expected with a bunch of 21 year olds).

My friends Ryan and I (we were roommates at the time in Raleigh), flew back to Raleigh on Monday, September 10, through DC. Hung over, ready to get back into our routines, just another travel day, no big deal.

The next day, Tuesday, September 11, I began my usual routine (though, I was a bit late that morning, you know, due to the weekend). So, I was in the living room ironing my clothes, with the Today Show on, as it was every other morning.

"Breaking News" ... plane hits World Trade Center. The reports coming in were that it was a small plane, maybe a 4 seater. Some people were calling in saying they thought it was a commercial airliner, everyone figured it was an accident. Soon after, watching on live TV, the second plane hits. This is no accident. I was in shock, thinking this couldn't be real. It was on TV, a movie or something. I couldn't just sit there anymore, I had to turn off the TV, so I drove into the office.

Not much working going on... people in the halls, talking, on the internet, watching the TVs. I didn't last long in the office, I had to go back home and watch on TV.

I remember my girlfriend (at the time), calling me. She was hysterical. Her grandmother had been in New York on a trip. I believe she was staying at a hotel very close to the WTC. They couldn't get a hold of her, so of course, the worst is expected. She was OK though, managed to get out of the city & was safe. There are countless other stories like this, only many did not have a good outcome.

I can't imagine what it must have been like to experience this tragic event in the city, in person. Nor could I imagine what it must have felt like, and still feel like, to know someone who died...be it in NY, DC or PA.

My brother joined the Marines shortly after 9/11 (boot camp in March 2002). I actually never asked him why he joined, not sure if 9/11 actually had anything to do with it. There are plenty who did enlist due to 9/11 & thanks to everyone who did, still active, and those who will in the future.

So, how is 9/11 perceived or remembered in China? I don't know.

18 holes & whiskey

Just lost a long post due to a firefox crash & I'm really not in the mood to re-write it at the moment. So, here are some pictures from golf... I'll explain & write about my Saturday in Beijing at some point tomorrow...

Lost in Mandarin

I haven't written much about my "work-life" in Beijing much. I have to figure out a balance there...what I should put out there and what I shouldn't.

Anyway, I've been in a bunch of meetings here over the last couple of weeks, mostly with vendors/recruiting companies. Most of the people can speak pretty good English, but I always tell them at the beginning of the meeting to feel free to discuss in Chinese. What usually happens then...? The entire meeting is run in Chinese & I'm off on the side-lines. Thankfully I always have colleagues with me from either HR or Procurement, and also, my assistant who gives me some written play-by-play.

I don't like this much, because I feel disconnected and out of the loop. This is really motivating me to learn the language at a much faster pace (hence the lessons and "girlfriend"). Not that I'll be able to understand much of what people are discussing in business meetings after 3 months, or even 6 months. However, I'll catch things, I'll catch the major points, I'll be able to understand some of the emotions going on in the room. Right now, I'm limited to trying to understand the body language.

As the frustration sets in, I just take it like any other challenge...it's something that's going to make me better in the long run. It may suck right now, but it will be worth it.

Date night

So, the "girlfriend" is in the works, on to the second "date" tonight. I can understand why a lot of people here (Americans & Chinese) were telling me to get a girlfriend...my Chinese is already getting better! However, this girl's English is pretty good, so we speak English. I have her review my lessons with me, it helps to do it in an informal way. With my teacher, it's just "by the book."
I'm going to have to find another one that doesn't speak much English at all. This will force me to learn at a much faster pace. I'm not sure there's going to be time for all of this though.

George Bush likes corn

I saw this sign posted on the door of a little store near my office this morning. Later, during lunch, I made a stop back with someone who could tell me what the sign said. Ignorant me was thinking it was in some way poking fun at GW (not that I'd really care).

In a nut shell, the sign is trying to tell the Chinese how good corn is for you, that you should eat more of it and why. They're using GW to try to sell corn!! No clue why. The store that has the sign on it sells corn out of a "crock pot." I am going to have someone ask them in a couple of weeks if their corn sales boosted after putting the sign up.

There you go...pic of the day

How do you know when it's time to shave your head?

I'm not bald, yet...but it's creeping up on me. I can already see the spot on my head where the hair will fall out. It's the front of my head...like an up-side-down triangle.

I don't worry about it too much, because when it gets worse, I'm just going to shave my head. I can't do the "comb over" (although, I have a small one going on now).

Maybe the barber shops/salons in Beijing will be able to work wonders for me. Maybe they have some secret potion to prevent baldness and grow hair back (not back hair, I have plenty). I'm going to venture out this weekend to see, since I am due for a cut.

I came across this article (Tim, there's hope for you when your hair falls out).... wonder if it will actually work & how it will work ... Rogaine like? Daily medication? Injections? Who knows.

Bike trucks

One of many bike trucks on the streets and sidewalks of Beijing. This guy was peddling slow in front of me, with his collection of boxes and bags of who knows what.

People watching in Beijing

I haven't been carrying my camera around with me, but I'm making an effort to do so. I want to try to capture at least one image a day of life in Beijing.

I took a walk down the road tonight to locate some new DVDs (got a hold of Superman, Miami Vice and World Trade Center, if I'm lucky, one of them will actually work). Typically, there are at least five guys at various points along my walk asking ... "you want DVD?...DVD?...DVD?" On top of that, the little begger kids are out in full force.

Any way, this is a shot of a group of people arguing about something. I couldn't tell what it was but they kept pointing at books on a table in front of them. A large crowd began to gather after I took this shot, along with some "security guards" keeping an eye on things.

"The Club House"

Jimmy's apartment is known as "The Club House." It's the hang out, the bachelor pad, the party place. It's an amazing place...over 5000sqt, huge dining area, living room, outdoor patio which looks over downtown Beijing & tons of cool stuff.

He invited me over for dinner Saturday night. His Ayi (maid), Rose, was cooking dinner. Rose is Jimmy's live-in Ayi from the Phillipines. Very nice lady & an excellent cook. After some tuna, spring rolls, shrimp & veggies, it was onto a few beers and hanging out in the club house.

From there, we were off to Face, a new bar near Jimmy's. Face is trying to cater to the "upscale" crowd in Beijing, which I'm sure they will do. It's pricey, but a great atmosphere...couches, nice lighting, plenty of room. Jimmy had a girl out, whom he met the night before. But, we were also heading out to meet a couple other girls...one who I met the weekend before and her friend, which Jimmy knows. So, it was time to for the juggling act, it was hilarious. In the end, Jimmy told the girl with us at Face that he was heading to the bathroom...he never came back. Needless to say, she was not impressed. I had already made my way to the next location... Baby Face. (In all, Jimmy ended receiving over 15 text messages from the girl...the last one reading, FU).

This was the first "dance club" I've experienced in Beijing. It's located on a strip with five or six other places just like it. We met up with Steve & some of his friends from Russia. A few hours & some vodka & plenty of my moves on the dance floor, I was completely soaked. It was disgusting, but it didn't scare away the girl I met up with (she must like sweating).

I'll end my recap there...it was a great weekend & the "girl friend" is in the works.

New toys

I didn't bring my clubs over from the US, so I was in need of a new set here in Beijing. I wandered over to Silk Street with Steve this evening, he also needed a set.

I picked up some steel shaft Callaway Fusions ... nice clubs. Comes with full set of irons, two woods, a driver & a putter... plus, a big leather bag, great deal. We'll see how long it takes for them to fall apart though. I'll have to get in a round next weekend to test them out.

Had a night cap, or three, over at Mexican Wave. Mango margaritas on a nice, breezy Sunday evening were the perfect end to a fun weekend, which I'll write about tomorrow. For now, time to watch some TV & pass out...new week ahead.

Lost my virginity

...My manicure/pedicure/foot massage virginity that is. I never thought I'd be the type of guy to get that stuff done, but today in Beijing, it happened.

I figured if Steve, a high-powered lawyer from the US, does it, why couldn't I? So, I went at met Steve over at a place he's a regular at.

It's really not that girly, in fact, it's awesome. My feet have never felt better. It was amazing to see how much dead skin they shaved off, I bet the woman doing it was really impressed. Sick.

After the pedicure, manicure & 20 minute foot massage, I'm ready for a night on the town. Too bad I can't wear sandals out tonight, I really wanted to show off my shiny toe nails.